“A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.”
–Andre Maurois
You may assume a couple that works from home together shares a great deal of time together – and, in fact, they do, at least in our case.
In our daily routine, Tim and I prepare joint breakfasts, raise questions to one another from across the room, and share work snacks of chopped apples, almond butter on celery, or warmed-up leftovers from the night before.
Most afternoons, if one of us receives a question about schedules or planning, there’s little of that lag time between the initial query and checking with the spouse, because answers come quick when the spouse is within arm’s reach.
And I’ll tell you, quite candidly, that once you’ve tasted this kind of immediacy, it’s a hard thing to let go of. We’re particularly prone to saying how much we hope we’ll never have to.
What is perhaps less obvious about the married home office life is that when you sit side by side, working at your individual laptops, focusing on your individual projects, it’s painfully easy to dwell physically together, but mentally apart.
On more evenings than I can remember, I’ve looked over at Tim well past sunset, and only then, paused long enough to realize it was the first time I’d done so all day. We are typical people in this way, you might say.
We are task-driven and laser-focused, but who isn’t? It’s true we savor the luxuries of a shared workspace and an eliminated commute each day, rushed as any one else must be at least on occasion in these hurried times. But it’s also true that quick questions and passed plates are not enough to sustain deep connections over the course of a lifetime.
And so, we tell ourselves to stop.
We take walks in the park with our camera and laugh about the February chill. We drive to Goodwill for a project and find ourselves sewing it together late on a Friday night.
We read aloud in bed. We grab hands in the hall. We sip homemade lattes at a cleared table on a Saturday afternoon.
We ask each other, “What have you been thinking today?” and “How do you feel about that?”or “Do you know I love you? I do.”
We don’t do this because we’re sappy or silly romantics – we try to remember that these things are important, precisely because we are not.
We do it to purposefully seek connection, even when what motivates us is the sudden realization that we’ve forgotten to seek it again.
We do it because in those moments of facing each other, seeing eye to eye, asking questions and listening to answers, endeavoring to both know and be known, we remind ourselves of the gift that is right before us, the one we often find too easy to take for granted if we do not stop and see.
The admission of homemade lattes into our daily routine is as new of a development as a new purchase I found on Amazon, inspired by Meg Gordon’s post at The Kitchn: the Aerolatte Milk Frother.
Since this little milk frother arrived, I’ve made tea lattes and frothy hot chocolate at least a dozen times, and the recipe I’ll share here is proof that this is a beverage we have got down. We last drank it alongside these buckwheat ginger cookies, sitting across from one another at our dining room table.
I’m loving the way the milk frother is so easy to use, and simple to clean.
Maple Ginger Tea Lattes
Makes two eight-ounce lattes
This is the tea latte we’ve been loving lately, easy to interchange with different types of tea, and with honey or another sweetener instead of maple syrup.
Ingredients:
16 ounces water
3 tablespoons pure maple syrup, divided
2 tablespoons loose-leaf ginger tea (or whatever tea you like)
1/4 cup raw goat’s milk (or whatever milk you prefer)
Directions:
Bring 16 ounces of water to a boil with 2 tablespoons of maple syrup. Combine maple water with the 2 tablespoons of ginger tea (we like doing this in a French press) and let it steep for five minutes.
While the tea is steeping, warm 1/4 cup of milk over the stove with one tablespoon of maple syrup. When it’s warm (not hot) to the touch, divide it among two cups. Use a milk frother to froth it up to your liking, and set aside.
Press out the tea (or remove tea bags) and pour it into the two froth-filled cups, dividing it evenly among the two. Enjoy!
About Shanna Mallon
Shanna Mallon is a freelance writer who holds an MA in writing from DePaul University. Her work has been featured in a variety of media outlets, including The Kitchn, Better Homes & Gardens, Taste of Home, Houzz.com, Foodista, Entrepreneur, and Ragan PR. In 2014, she co-authored The Einkorn Cookbook with her husband, Tim. Today, you can find her digging into food topics and celebrating the everyday grace of eating on her blog, Go Eat Your Bread with Joy. Shanna lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with Tim and their two small kids.
ooh, this would be such a fun and useful tool! 🙂 How nice of you to give one away!
I seriously hope whoever wins it loves it as much as I do. Such a fun kitchen tool!
This would be so easy to use at work!
Definitely, especially because cleaning is as simple as rinsing and drying it. SO EASY.
This is so sweet in so many ways. “We don’t do this because we’re sappy or silly or romantics—we do it because we’re not.” Truth.
: ) Thanks, friend.
Sharing a meal….
I find that sharing meals one-on-one or in small groups is good for starting conversations… sharing meals in large groups, not so much, ha! : )
I think my favorite post from you, ever. There’s so much in my heart about how this is exactly what I’ve been thinking and not knowing how to express, how this is what we crave for our relationship too, how we talk all the time about how intentionality is one of your and Tim’s greatest qualities. Thank you for writing this.
Thank you for reading it. And for, every time you post or talk, reminding me how glad I am to know you. Miss you guys!!
wow, those cookies look lovely, and tea sounds perfect! can’t wait to try them both (using my dinky Ikea frother–an upgrade would be lovely for sure!).
I’ve heard about those Ikea frothers, Amanda! This is definitely a step up. : )
Shanna,
I deeply appreciate when you share the truth of what marriage means to you. My fiance and I will be getting married in July, and we are excited to have an intentional, Christ centered marriage. However, we face a fair amount of discouragement from others! I love that you aren’t sugar-coating your story, but you also share the joy that you find in all things. This post has really encouraged me today.
Thank you!
Thank you for those kind, encouraging words, Kira. Have you heard of the book ‘Meaning of Marriage‘ by Tim Keller? My favorite on marriage so far — totally worth reading this year! : )
Thank you for both the post and the giveaway. I completely agree – relationships must be intentional, especially considering the frenetic pace most of us keep each day (that’s a whole other topic).
Anyway, I used to have a frother attachment for an immersion blender, but the blender broke (it was cheap so I didn’t replace it), so it would be great to have a frother again!
Also, where do you get your loose-leaf ginger tea? I enjoy the Traditional Medicinals ginger tea, but loose leaf sounds even better…
Christa, We actually won it in a giveaway on the A Couple Cooks blog around Christmastime! : ) But it’s also available online — here it is on Amazon
Love the idea of making lattes at home!
Me too! : )
i have always said that dw & i do things to protect our relationship (whatever that may be), not because it’s fragile, but because it’s precious. it is so nice to see other couples do the same.
I love the concept that it is precious. Yes.
I already have this exact frother, so I’m not entering, but I’m excited to use it on this recipe! So far I’ve just used it to make cafe au lait on the weekends…which feels very indulgent.
mmm cafe au lait! good idea!
Loving those lattes…what great flavors! 🙂
Thanks, Sara!
What a tasty snack! I love starting conversations about books and movies…you never know where these topics will take you!
Good idea! In my book club’s first meeting, we shared our favorite books, and it was so interesting to hear what resonates with people!
This was the sweetest post, and one of my favorites from you! Totally agree that it takes being intentional to really have time together, even if you have a lot of time together.
Can’t wait to try that cookie recipe!
Aw, thanks, Marie! And if you try the cookies, let me know what you think!
I wan I wan your giveaway gift..:)
: ) Good luck!
I’ve had one of these frothers on my wish list for ages! I’d love to use one for my daily chai.
If you don’t win this one, Julie, it really is worth the plunge. I can’t believe how much I like mine!
Tea lattes are one of my favorite things but I never would have thought to make them at home. This is awesome!
Right? They’re so good!
such a sweet post, and a welcome reminder to be active participants in all relationships with the people we love! thank you!!
“active participants in all relationships” – well said, sarah!
Frothy milk is probably one of life’s greatest little pleasures. I eat it from cappuccinos with a spoon… I need a milk frother in my life 🙂
Haha! I think so, too!
This post struck a chord with me as my husband and I have recently retired. We, too, love our daily together time and your words inspire me to to make these moments count.
I love that image, Linda, both of the two of you enjoying more time together and of trying to make those moments count.
Would be so exciting to be able to make yummy things from coffee shops but me-friendly, with lactaid milk, for example!
Thinking specifically of Earl Grey tea with milk and honey, my all-time favorite warm beverage combination.
Monika, Exactly! The best place to get a latte made with raw milk and maple syrup is our own kitchen. : ) Love the sound of an Earl Grey, too. Yum!
I mix up a jar of chai concentrate to keep in the fridge for tea in the evening…this milk frothier would be the icing on the cake! Lovely post.
Thanks, Karen! Love the sound of your chai concentrate!
This sounds warming and delicious – on a Saturday morning or a long weekday afternoon. Much reminiscent of the chai tea lattes of my youth, spent trying to look mysterious in coffee shop corners… Thanks for the recipe – and the kitchen toy tip!
That’s two votes for a chai tea latte — I think I know what’s in our frothing future!
So what do you think about _____________?
It’s filling in that blank that’s the hardest part, ha!
Well, you already know this, but I would love to win this little gadget : )
“We don’t do this because we’re sappy or silly or romantics—we do it because we’re not. We do it to purposefully seek connection, even when what motivates us is realizing how we’ve forgotten to seek it again. We do it because in those moments of facing each other, seeing eye to eye, asking questions and listening to answers, endeavoring to both know and be known, we remind ourselves of the gift right before us, the one we find too easy not to stop and see.” –Steve and I have talked a lot about this. He is naturally a huggy type and I am not. It’s something that I really have to work on because it is important to my husband and, actually, in the end then, it’s important for us both. Thank you for this reminder this morning!
ps. I owe you an email : )
It’s fascinating to me that, even when you love someone so much, it takes thought to show it. You know? It’s one of the biggest things I’ve learned in marriage, although it probably applies to all relationships. The world says ‘love’ is easy and will always feel easy, and, in some ways it is/does, but in a lot of ways, it takes learning and growing and thought that aren’t easy/natural. So humbling!
Oh … my stovetop-warmed milk isn’t nearly as nice as warm and frothy would be! 🙂
But I actually was going to write before I read down to the giveaway: You’re on to something! It’s so easy — nice, even — to be comfy together. To not have to talk. To be connected by life. But it can be dangerous to be too comfy and quiet. It isn’t enough to just live together. You have to purposely be in each other’s lives. That sounds crazy before you are married and in the same house, but … you see now!
And: How in the world did you take those pictures? I’m trying to figure out a) what the camera was sitting on when you set the timer or b) whether there must have been a third person in the room! 🙂
Yes! and haha! tripod on the table. : )
I have always loved your story and your posts about marriage, but these days, with the daintiest ring on my left hand, they feel even more meaningful. Thank you for your beautiful and encouraging example. You make marriage look as fun and transformative as it should be, and the world needs to hear more of that.
Kat, I love watching you two on Instagram and felt so excited when I saw that ring. Looking forward to watching along as you join your lives and hop on this beautiful, sanctifying ride of marriage. It’s such a gift, truly.
Great post – both the truth shared about marriage as well as the recipe!
Thanks, Elissa!
Yum! I’ll eat or drink just about anything with ginger in it!
Ginger in drink + ginger in cookies = a big win to me, too. : )
This is so beautifully put. I especially needed to hear, “…we remind ourselves of the gift right before us, the one we find too easy not to stop and see.” Thanks for the reminder! And the frother looks super cool!
Thank you, Sarah!
Wow amazing!
That’s pretty much exactly what I said when we drank these lattes, Ami! : )
How timely! I’ve recently started drinking more tea, and I bought an electric kettle so that I have hot water at my disposal whenever I want some tea and don’t want to leave my desk! I would *love* to try making tea lattes with this awesome frother (even though it would mean heading to the refrigerator to get milk)! 🙂
Haha! I remember my office days… it’s gotta be a good reason to make you get up! : )
I love to go to starbucks with my sister and enjoy a frothed Caramel Macchiato
That’s a great tradition! : )
Love this post! It is so true that you can spend a whole day with someone and not really be spending time together.
exactly, Erin!
Shanna,
You are such a model for me! Love all your recipes, thoughts, and posts. 🙂
I’d love to try this one soon!!
Aw, that’s so kind, Alyssa.
I will be trying this ginger tea very soon… hopefully, I get a frother out of it, too!
Haha!
I would love to win that frother for my daughter. She is such a tea and coffee snob. Must have got it from her mother…..ahem.
Haha, Ken!
Just found you recently and already you are one of my favorite bloggers. Love the words you write and the recipes you share. Thank you.
That is so kind, Kristina. Thank you. And thank you for reading here!
Beautiful post and SO glad you’re enjoying the milk frother (such a genius invention!). Happy Wednesday to you and Tim. Xo, mg
Meg, I am SO glad you posted about it. Seriously. Totally a genius invention.
Such a wonderful way to describe your day-to-day routine, how work and your relationship intersect…so lovely!
Thank you so much, Andrea!
I love the intentionality represented in this post! We all need that reminder to set aside time to be focused on our relationships.
And I’m alllllll about ginger these days. I want to put it in everything. Thanks for the great post!
Aranda, I fully support the ginger addiction, ha! Tim tells me it’s good for digestion anyway. : )
I am so behind in my blog reading, but as I hurriedly scrolled through Google Reader, I immediately read this post. And, I’m so glad I did. What a great reminder to ‘purposefully seek connection’ with the things that are so often right within reach.
Thanks, friend — been thinking about you and your work-from-home schedule. Hope you’re loving it more and more!
I think it’s in the little rituals that we truly appreciate our partners. Every Valentines I remember why I prefer the moments when we’re waiting for our roast vegetables to roast just to tenderness (we’re both at loose ends usually and so simply talk to each other) to the overwrought dinners out for special occasions.
Teresa, I love that sentiment so much. Thank you for sharing that.
I loved this post. This is something we’ve been talking about lately – having curiosity about each other and our thoughts and feelings, and being bold and thoughtful enough to actually ask about them.
As always, you say it so succinctly.
“Curiosity about each other” — YES YES YES
It saddens me how often people aren’t curious about each other especially because, when you think about it, aren’t the kindest people you’ve known the ones who took time to think about you? And even sadder, it seems the easiest people to stop being curious about are the ones you see most often.
UGH. I know. I realized recently that I am majorly guilty of not being curious about my partner’s thoughts — it’s so easy to settle into your routines and *think* you know everything about a person. When you take the time to really consider and just ask simple questions, you realize how little of that you often do. I am currently working on not taking him – or our closeness – for granted. It makes perfect, obvious sense, and yet it’s so easy to ignore.
Food for thought.
Indeed. Note to self: When I think I’ve got someone all figured out, I probably don’t. What a strange and marvelous mystery that all of us are wonderfully complex.
I love those photos!
Thanks, Talaia!
Where did your goat milk choice come into play? i love almond or almond coconut for myself. My boys drink cow. As a child I drank goat’s milk due to allergies. a tea latte sounds yum. now to find someone to share one with. beautiful pics Shanna!
Hi Rachel! I’ve been drinking raw milk since I met Tim, but we switched to raw goat’s milk (instead of cow’s) last year sometime because we have a great local supplier and because goat’s milk is even easier to digest. A lot of people who can’t handle cow’s milk because of lactose sensitivities, for example, find goat’s milk better. ANYWAY — if we couldn’t get raw milk for some reason, we’d probably do the purest forms of coconut milk or almond milk, too. Happy Valentine’s Day, my sweet friend. Hope you and all your boys enjoy it! : )
we, too, work at home and while we spend 90% of our time together, we still don’t “connect” as often – i love how you captured this. it’s important, to look, and BE. now, for this awesome recipe. THANK YOU!
I love that you get it, Jessie. Also, PS, because I think of this whenever I see your name, we are so enjoying the kefir water! Thank you again for the crystals!
This is so sweet! It’s so easy to forget the little things when you are around someone all the time. I love that you take the time to pause and remember how much you appreciate each other.
Thanks, Emily!
I’ve tried frothing milk with a whisk on the stove and it just doesn’t work!
I think most married couples struggle with what you’re talking about. It takes intentionality to maintain a true connection — not easy!
Ha! I’ve tried that, too. I’ve also tried whirring it real quick in the Vitamix. Still no go. : )
Sounds delicious!
Thank you, Ann!
Leaving my coffee career for a new path in one week, would love to make lattes at home!
Here’s to new adventures, Carrie! Best wishes to you on your new path!
What is it about frothed milk that is just transformational? Ordinary beverage no more! Thanks again for tender insight and the always precious reminder to savor the incredible gift of my beloved husband. Ten years of marriage this summer and 13+ valentines days… and God still amazes me daily with the sheer magnitude of the gift of of our marriage and the sacred responsibility it is as we seek to pour out the great love we have been given.
I like your last line especially, Mattie, and the idea of pouring out of the love we’ve been given. That’s lovely.
Lovely post (as always). I love how much thought and care you two put into keeping your relationship strong, even when you’re working side by side every day. You’re inspiring.
Thanks, Kate. I wish we always remembered to put thought and care into loving each other and other people… but I’m always so thankful when we do.
As always, a wonderfully worded post that, this time, leaves me feeling blessed to have love in my life and inspired to find new ways to celebrate and nurture that love every day. Cheers to many more latte-filled moments!
Cheers indeed! Thank you for that sweet comment, Joanne!
This is such lovely writing. And I almost texted you just now to tell you that I love the new header, but then I realized it was 8pm on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps I’ll comment instead.
Haha! You text me anytime! We’re tucked in at home about to eat pizzas for a very late (aka, back from a movie finally!) dinner. : ) Happy Valentine’s, friend!
This recipe looks great..and I love your thoughts on marriage. It’s in the mundane of every day life that we need God’s grace the most. And with Him we can appreciate the sanctity of small acts of love for the ones we are with. Thanks for posting!
So true, Marie. Thanks for that comment!
Hello Shanna, My husband and I have recently become best friends after 30 years of marriage, we stopped to smell the coffee, together. What a great suggestion to stop and connect. Thanks
Becky
Becky, I love hearing that. It’s the kind of lesson I think we’ll keep on learning, too. Thanks for saying hi here!